Mass Effect: Rendition
by TheSorrow1145
Summary: Following the events of the allied assault on Earth and the Citadel, Tali'zorah and the crew of the Normandy recover from the damage and loss of the battle. Together they work to find out just what happened to Shepard and how the galaxy has been affected by his choices, while investigating a conspiracy that threatens the fledgling peace in the wake of the war.
1. Prologue

Prologue

_Citadel/Crucible Control Deck_

_2186_

This wasn't turning out anything like I was hoping, but then again, the universe seems to have set me up as a magnet for this sort of thing.

These are the thoughts bouncing through my head as I stand at the junction between the Citadel and the Catalyst, at the precipice of years of work, trillions of credits, and billions of lives. Probably should've known that no production of this scale was going to be resolved simply.

It all started a month ago, with me sitting in a prison cell on Earth as a political prisoner after I destroyed the Alpha Relay in order to slow the Reapers down. The explosion definitely but a damper on the Reapers' arrival, but as it also took out the entire Bahak system and every one of the over 300,000 people on the batarian colony of Aratoht, I wasn't exactly being sung my praises. Not that I would have been much for accepting accolades after how everything fell out. From the cold calculus of war, the colony world and its population were a ridiculously low price to pay to save the countless billions of the galaxy for just a little longer. But then, I was never big on that way of thinking, and even without the imprisonment and threats of court-martial, I felt I deserved worse.

Not that any of that mattered in the end, since the Reapers just plowed through to Earth anyway, as well as the home planets of every other species.

The last month had rushed past in a blur, grabbing every resource that was available to muster the kind of overwhelming push needed to destroy the Reapers. In that time I'd seen and done a lot of things that no one would have believed were possible this time last year. I'd seen war bring out the best and worst of people, seen the unimaginable horrors that the Reapers made of their victims, and watched entire planets burn. I'd also forged impossible alliances between the krogan and the Council races, as well as between the geth and the quarians. I'd helped assemble the single greatest fighting force in the history of the galaxy.

Of course, Reapers weren't the only thing making my life difficult. Cerberus, my former allies against the threat of the Reaper harvest, had suddenly reversed their stance and attempted to tear down the war effort as best they could. The Illusive Man had been ruthless in his effort to augment his soldiers, deploying them to devastating effect against both military and civilian targets. Ostensibly, they were attempting to stop us from destroying the Reapers so they could be controlled for humanities benefit, but really the Illusive Man had been exposed to just enough Reaper tech for indoctrination to set in. Only after he had nearly handed the war to the Reapers did he realize what he had become, and like Saren before him, he killed himself rather than continue doing the Reapers bidding.

Of course by that point the damage was already done. Mordin sacrificed himself to cure the genophage, Miranda died saving her sister and shutting down Cerberus' false Sanctuary, where refugees were used in horrific experiments in the interest of controlling the Reapers. Thane had died protecting the salarian Councilor from a Cerberus assassination attempt. Legion had shut down just after gaining true sentience in order to spread the gift to the other geth. And Anderson, Shepard's mentor, was killed by the Illusive Man during the boarding of the Citadel. Combined with the general stresses of fighting for the survival of organic life, these losses nearly made me give up hope. That, of course, was until Tali came back into my life.

After we took down the Collector base and the Alpha Relay, we'd had a few more days together before I had to return to the Local Cluster to turn myself in. That time was some of the happiest of my life, but also the saddest, since we both knew it was the last peaceful time we would have together, but we did our best to ignore it. Tali continued to acclimate to being exposed to me, and we spent as much time together as we could, having dinner, watching extranet vids, talking about what we would do if we survived the war, and most often just lying in our bed after a long night together just holding each other. The time I spent in Alliance holding was made even harder by my separation from her, so when I heard reports of the Flotilla in the vicinity of the Perseus Veil, I dropped everything I could and joined up with the fleet as quickly as I could.

When I first saw her, sporting the title of Admiral for the first time, I was terrified that too much time had passed, that things had changed and she no longer wanted to be with me. Bless that girl's heart, she crushed those worries in about a minute, and even though the circumstances weren't ideal, we were as happy as we could have been. During the final effort to retake Rannoch, Tali finally told me the she loved me, and it gave me the drive I needed to defeat the local Reaper, secure a truce between the quarians and the geth, and finally fill Rael'Zorah's promise of giving Tali her homeworld back. If that doesn't qualify as a romantic gesture, I don't know what does.

That, of course, doesn't come close to repaying Tali for all she did to keep me grounded and sane during the final desperate weeks of the campaign. She helped keep me from slipping into despair after my devastating loss to Kai Leng on Thessia, which cost us the much-needed data on completing the Catalyst. She stuck with me during the siege of the Cerberus base, affirming her continued faith in me and reminding me what I was fighting for, and helping me find the final key to defeating the Reapers.

Then, of course, came the assault on Earth. The first part of the assault went as well as it possibly could have; my entire team made it to the ground, we secured a forward operations base, we said our goodbyes and good lucks, and me and Tali comforted each other about the possibility losing each other as best we could. We destroyed the Reaper blocking access to the transported to the Citadel and gathered for the final push. Then Harbinger decided to make an appearance. It almost killed Garrus and Tali. I swear I almost dropped right there when I saw her fall, but she came through it, injured but alive. I called Joker in to get the two of them out of there. As Garrus took Tali aboard the Normandy, she turned back and begged me, pleaded with me not to leave her behind, to take her with me, that her home was not on Rannoch but with me on the Normandy. The fear and despair in her voice, so close to how innocent she sounded when I first met her, almost made me jump on that ship with her, Reapers be damned.

But I couldn't. It broke my heart into more pieces I can easily count, but I had a duty. I had to press on to ensure that no one else would lose the people they loved, that all those now living and all those who would ever live would have their chance, and to ensure that Tali got out of this alive, even if I couldn't. So I squeezed her hand, wishing more than anything that I could see her face one more time, then waved at the crew to get her aboard and leave. As I watched the Normandy fly off, I was consoled that at least my friends and the love of my life would be safe, and things seemed peaceful for just a moment.

Then Harbinger took another pot shot at me and things got a bit fuzzy. I was badly hurt, but managed to get aboard the Citadel. Anderson and I took care of the Illusive Man, but Anderson died in the process. Then the Catalyst connected and I was whisked off to the control deck, where I learned my options.

So here I am, standing at the precipice of three choices that will have massive consequences for the entire galaxy. To my right is the key to destroying the Reapers, breaking the cycle forever, but also wiping out the geth and EDI, possibly also killing myself. Directly ahead of me is my death leading to the fusion of organic and synthetic life. To my left is a set of terminals that will allow me to upload my consciousness to replace the current Reaper controller, giving me absolute control over the Reapers. The only cost will be my body.

I consider destruction. I had set out to destroy the Reapers, and doing so seems to be the only way to ensure that the cycle of extinction will never begin again. Of course, I couldn't take that option. I had just granted the geth true sentience, to say nothing of what losing EDI would do to Joker. It may be possible to restore them in time, but that's not a risk I'm willing to take.

Synthesis is equally unattractive. There's no guarantee that synthesis will work as planned, and forcing such an evolution on everyone could cause a lot of problems.

And so I come to control. Replacing the Reaper controller has some appeal. My consciousness directing the Reaper's would likely ensure that the cycle would remain broken, since I could never consider doing something so awful, and controlling the Reapers will allow me to use their collective knowledge to the benefit of all life. Of course, I lose my body, but I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I probably won't be walking out of here alive.

I think of all the people who have sacrificed to bring me to this point, everyone who supported me and every challenge I've overcome. And of course Tali continues to bounce around my head, how much I love her, how much I want to continue to be with her and protect her.

In the end the choice is simple.

As I stand before the terminals, I take a few final deep breaths, mixed with a little prayer to whoever may be listening, and grab hold. And let me say right now, being disintegrated isn't nearly as painful as one would imagine. I watch myself begin to flake apart, the system scanning my every feature for storage, with such intensity that my body continues to disintegrate. The affected areas tingle briefly, then stop feeling anything at all. Even as I continue to fall apart, the knowledge of all the previous civilizations, as well as Leviathan and the Reapers themselves, begins to pour into me. In a brief crystalizing instant, I feel and echo of myself within and without the system, spreading a single word out to the Reapers linked to the Citadel.

_Cease._

I begin combing over all the information I can as quickly as possible. There's less of me left to hold on to the terminals, and I know my time is short. I find what I'm looking for in an instant, information that makes our cycle's finest achievements in science look like grade school projects, that make even marvels like the Lazarus Project look crude and unwieldy. Perfect.

As my vision starts to fade, I send on final directive to the copy of my consciousness within the Citadel. I feel a strange energy close around me as the last of my skin fades away.

"_I keep my promises, Tali,"_ I think to myself.

And then everything goes dark.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_2 Days After the Crucible Event_

_"Go back to Rannoch, Tali. Build a home" said Shepard._

_ "But I have a home," Tali replied, her tears unseen behind her visor but her anguish plain as day in her voice. She struggled against Garrus' hold on her, trying desperately not to leave the fight, not to leave _him_._

_ "Get her out of here!" Shepard yelled over the radio, and the Normandy's engines kicked back into gear, quickly moving to withdraw before Harbinger could line up another shot. Just before the landing ramp closed all the way, the last Tali saw of Shepard was him staring up at her for just an instant more before turning back to the run on the transporter beam. Then the ramp closed and Shepard was gone. Tali began to sink to the ground, her injuries starting to catch up with her, while Garrus yelled for a medic and then turned to make sure Tali stayed alive until help arrived. As she began to black out, the last thing Tali heard was Garrus calling her name._

"Tali!"

Hearing her name again jerked Tali out of her reverie. As she started taking notice of what was around her again, she realized that she had been sitting in front of a disassembled electrical panel in the Normandy's engineering bay, though she couldn't quite remember what exactly she had been doing. She also noticed a hand on her shoulder, and turned to see Garrus standing behind her. Turian anatomy didn't allow for quite the range of expression that human and asari anatomy granted, but Tali had known Garrus long enough to read him, and from his bearing she could tell that he had been trying to get a response from her for some time.

"Hey Garrus, did you need something?" she asked, trying to act as if nothing had happened, as if that would make a difference.

"EDI mentioned that you'd been sitting here for the last half hour and thought I should check up on you," Garrus replied with a tone of voice that made it perfectly clear that he wasn't fooled but he didn't want to push. "We were worried that you might still be having some issues from all the suit ruptures back on Earth."

Garrus knew full well what was giving Tali such a hard time, but he was clearly waiting for Tali to bring it up when she was ready to talk about it. Even so, he was right to be concerned for Tali's health. Even with her upgrades to her suits' field medical capabilities, the action Tali had seen on Earth had damaged portions of her suit so badly that they'd needed to be replaced, and her store of antibiotics had been completely drained. Dr. Chakwas had said that it was nothing short of a miracle that Tali's exposure hadn't developed into something more serious, but was still having her check in every 4 hours for blood testing and supplemental antibiotics.

"The patches to my suit are holding up fine, and the fever I had earlier is gone. I'm fine, Garrus, just spaced out a little bit," said Tali. She turned back to the panel, remembering that she was swapping out some burned out components for fresh ones from storage. The Normandy's part in the battle combined with their escape from the Crucible blast had played hell with the ships' systems. As far as anyone could tell, all the major components, including EDI's core, had been sufficiently insulated against the energy of the blast to prevent damage. The damage had still forced them to land on a small verdant planet in the Alpha Centauri system, since the number of damaged subsystems were wreaking havoc on the Normandy's navigation and control mechanisms. Tali got back to work on the swap, hoping Garrus was going to let her momentary lapse drop.

He wasn't. In her peripheral vision, Tali saw Garrus sit down next to her, apparently to see what she was doing, but she could clearly see him looking at her out of the corner of his eye every so often. Wearing an opaque visor had its advantages. "Did you need something else, Garrus?" Tali asked, still elbow deep in the damaged panel.

"I was just thinking that maybe you shouldn't be working right now," Garrus replied, "Donnelly, Adams, and Daniels are more than capable of fixing everything up if you're still not feeling a hundred percent."

"Garrus, I'm fine," said Tali, her tone getting somewhat sharp. She knew Garrus was fully aware what was really going on in her head, knew he was just trying to help her deal with what happened on Earth, but she really didn't want to deal with it just then. All she wanted to do now was lose herself in her work for a while. It was either than or go to the Normandy lounge and drink herself stupid. But even that wouldn't be a real escape, just another reminder.

"_Turian brandy, triple filtered, and introduced using an emergency induction port," Tali slurred._

"_That's a straw, Tali," replied Shepard, just the hint of laughter coloring his response. Tali glanced at him, and even though he couldn't see her face he knew she was probably play glaring at him._

"_Emergency induction port," Tali repeated, just a shade more forcefully this time. She gave him another glance, enjoying even through the haze of the alcohol the smile that her antics were bringing to his face…_

Tali snapped out of the flashback again, and realized that she had stopped moving again. She glanced to the side and noticed that Garrus was now giving her a look bordering on alarm. _"Keelah," _she chided herself, "_keep it together, Tali. What would Shepard say if he saw you struggling this much?"_ She broke off that thought almost immediately, before she triggered a breakdown. The last thing she needed was to get emotional where everyone could see her.

"Tali," said Garrus, shocking Tali back to where she was, "come on, one of the others will come by and finish this up for you. You shouldn't be working with live circuits when you're like this."

Tali opened her mouth to snap at him that she didn't need to be babied, but then she closed it as she realized he had a point. If she zoned out again at the wrong time she was likely to electrocute herself. "Fine," she said, rising, "I'll just go check the core readings, make sure there wasn't any damage there."

Garrus sighed heavily. "Tali, we've all checked over the core readings at least a dozen times. Even Vega came up to look at it. The core is fine; it's you we're all worried about." Tali just stood with her back to Garrus, both wanting to talk and wanting to continue avoiding the conversation as long as possible. She felt Garrus' hand on her shoulder again. "Look," he said, "I need to get back to fire control and check the cannons again; all that firing really did a number on them. I'll be there if you want to talk." His hand came off Tali's shoulder, and she heard him leave the room.

She stood there for a while longer, wondering what she should do. She still didn't want to talk about it. In a way, it felt too much like giving up on Shepard. On the other hand, Garrus was as close to her as anyone else still aboard, and he was as close to Shepard as she had been. If anyone would understand what she was going through, it would be him.

With that, she turned on heel and started to make her way to the fire control room. It was time to let it all out, and figure out just what could be done to make it right.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"I was hoping you'd take me up on my offer," said Garrus as he heard the door open behind him. He turned to face the new arrival and, sure enough, it was Tali. She stood in the doorway for a few moments more, still not entirely sure if she wanted to go through with this conversation, not wanting to tear open her new wounds.

Garrus seemed to sense her hesitation. "Tali," he said, lowering his voice and affecting a more concerned expression, "I just want to help you. We've always been there for each other, and I know Shepard would have wanted me to look after you." He paused for a moment to consider his words, and then amended "wants me to look after you." He studied Tali's bearing for another moment, looking for some reaction. Maybe he was just having an off day (and who could be blamed after what they'd all been through) but he just wasn't seeing one. "If you still don't want to talk, that's fine, the offer's always on the table," he said, "but if military life has taught me anything, it's that it's better to get these things in the open sooner rather than later." He hung his head slightly, and Tali knew he was probably thinking of his squad on Omega, before saying "they have a habit of festering."

At that, Tali decided that it was finally time to speak. "I'm worried, Garrus," she began, "I'm worried about Shepard, about Anderson, about the fleets we sent in. The Crucible fired, the Reapers should have been wiped out, and we haven't seen any sign of them." She looked Garrus in the face and her voice started shaking as she said "We should have won, so why do I feel like we lost?" Her voice broke and she couldn't continue, and went back to looking at the floor.

Garrus paused for a moment, then leaned be against his console, suddenly feeling much more tired than he had minutes ago. It seemed that he and Tali were thinking along the same lines, whatever appearances they had tried to keep up for the sake of the other crew. She was clearly feeling everything that he was feeling, on top of the weight of losing the man she loved. Not that Garrus felt any better for not having the same relationship with Shepard. To Garrus, the thought of losing Shepard was the same as the thought of having lost his father and sister during the Reaper assault on Palaven. The casualty reports had remained inconclusive the last time he had been able to check them, but the area where his family was living had been largely reduced to ash by the Reaper forces, and he was rapidly losing hope that either his father or sister had survived. But they had known the Reapers were coming and it may have saved their lives. It was a slim hope, but it was all he had.

"It's not ever going to feel like an absolute win, Tali," said Garrus. "No matter how hard we may have put down the Reapers, we're always going to have the memories of all the people we lost to make it happen. Javik probably understands that better than any of us. We'll always remember that Mordin died to save the krogan, Miranda died to save her sister, Thane died to save the Council, and your friend Kal'Reegar sacrificed himself and his squad to save some people that he had never even met. But it's important to remember why they did them. They did it because that was what their commitment to duty called for, because they couldn't imagine living with themselves if they did anything else, and because they believed that their deaths would save us all."

Garrus paused for a moment. He wasn't used to speaking quite like that. Some of Shepard must have rubbed off on him, but of course Shepard had exemplified the ideals that the Turian Hierarchy instilled in its soldiers. He shook the thought out of his head for the moment and continued.

"You don't have to worry about Anderson and Shepard. Anderson is a grade-A badass. If Harbinger didn't manage to take him down, I doubt anything on the Citadel could do the job. As for Shepard, I told him myself once that the Reapers killed him once, and all it seemed to do was piss him off. I don't see him doing anything less than his best to get back here to you. And you know how he is when he sets himself on something; words like 'impossible' don't exist with him."

Tali laughed a little at that, faint but genuine. Garrus was just about to chalk that up as a win when Tali abruptly snapped her head back up to look him in the face again.

"But what if he is gone, Garrus?" she asked, her voice surprisingly steady for once. "What if this time he's really gone, gone where no amount of money or care or work can bring him back?" He shoulders began to shake, and it was obvious that she was on the verge of cracking. "We should have had more time, so much more time," she said, sobs starting to creep into her voice, "I've lost too many people, Garrus. I can't lose him too."

By this point Garrus couldn't stand idly by while Tali broke down, so he did what he expected Shepard would want him to do; he quickly crossed the distance and gave Tali a hug. It wasn't a particularly intense hug, it wasn't laden with hidden meanings; it was a simple hug to show Tali that she wasn't completely alone, and that people cared. That, more than anything, helped keep her from tumbling completely into despair.

After a few more moments, Garrus broke the embrace, but kept a hand on Tali's shoulder. "If he is gone," he began, "remember how much he cared about you. You know he'd never have forgiven himself if something happened to you, and knowing that you would survive this thing was probably what got him through the rest of the assault. More than anything else, he wanted to make sure you still had a future, whether he was there to share it with you or not."

"I just wanted us to have more time," said Tali, not bothering to keep the sobs out of her voice anymore. "I knew the odds were bad, I knew that not all of us were going to come out of this, but Shepard survived so much, I thought if anyone would make it, it would be him."

"And we don't know for sure whether he survived or not," replied Garrus. "We thought he was dead after the original Normandy was destroyed, he was gone for two years, but he came back. You remember what Liara and Jacob said about the condition he was in. 'Dead as dead can be,' they said. But he came back from it anyway." He chuckled slightly as a new thought came to him, "And that was before you two got together. With you motivating him, I doubt all the Reapers in the galaxy could keep him down."

Tali managed a weak laugh at that one. She knew, in a dark corner of her mind, that Shepard's odds probably weren't in his favor, but Garrus' words made it easier for her to hope for something better. After another minute or two, she managed to get herself back under control, except for the occasional sniffle. She shrugged her shoulder slightly, just enough to let Garrus know she was okay, and he withdrew his hand. "Sorry, Garrus," she said, "you shouldn't have to be looking out for me all the time. I know this probably hasn't been easy for you. You and Shepard were practically brothers. Between that and Palaven, you've got enough to deal with, you shouldn't have to deal with me," she finished; she was starting to feel guilty and more than a little insensitive.

Garrus turned slightly away from her, took a deep breath, and exhaled through his nose. "Lots of practice," he said over his shoulder, not looking directly at her. "The original Normandy, my squad on Omega, the soldiers under my command on Palaven, clearly I'm not new to this." He shook his head, as if trying to brush off something, and continued. "But you're right," he said, turning back to Tali, "this does feel closer to what happened to my family on Palaven. My family was never worried about calling me on it when they thought I was out of line. Hell, my father almost seemed to enjoy it, but I haven't had anyone like that since I quit C-Sec. On Omega it was so easy to just take down anyone who crossed the line, and after Sidonis betrayed my squad, I wanted him dead more than any of the criminal scum I dealt with on that station. I was so ready to pull the trigger when I had him in my sights."

He paused, thinking back to that day; his perch on the catwalks, the feel of his rifle in his hands, counting off his breaths, waiting for Shepard to move to give him a clear shot. Then Shepard started talking to Sidonis, moving to block Garrus' shot, working to convince him that he shouldn't take the shot, that this kind of cold-blooded killing wasn't his way. As he listened to Sidonis talk about the horrible nightmares that plagued him for his betrayal, feeling his finger gradually slide off the trigger, it was as if Garrus suddenly remembered who he was, and the revulsion over his attitude before then hit him all at once.

Garrus snapped back to the present and continued, "But Shepard was there to keep me from going over the edge. He helped remind me who I was." Garrus lowered his voice, "and he made me look like a blood crazed idiot. I'll always owe him for that, and I fully expect to repay him for that."

Tali stood there quietly for a moment, then nodded. When she looked up again, there was a new resolve in her voice.

"So it's that simple," she said, "we owe Shepard too much to just give up on him."

"My thoughts exactly," said Garrus. "Now let's get this ship together so we can go find him."


End file.
